Beyond the Buzzword: Is Your Self-Care Really Caring for You?
Photo by Wade Austin Ellis | Unsplash
Self-care is one of those words we hear everywhere these days. It’s painted across social media feeds, tucked into marketing slogans, and casually thrown into conversations. But when a word gets repeated so often, it starts to lose meaning.
Self-care has become a buzzword. And with that, there seems to be a lot of confusion around it. What does it actually mean? And how do you know if you’re doing “enough”?
With September being recognized as National Self-Care Awareness Month, it feels like the perfect time to pause and take a closer look at what self-care really means.
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What Self-Care Isn’t
Let’s start here, because it’s easy to get sidetracked. Self-care isn’t just bubble baths, scented candles, or once-a-year spa days (though those can be lovely, too). It isn’t selfish, indulgent, or reserved only for people with extra time or money.
And most importantly, self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. What restores one person might drain another. If we chase someone else’s version of self-care, we end up missing what our own bodies and minds actually need.
What Self-Care Really Is
At its core, self-care is about creating habits that sustain you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s less about occasional treats and more about consistent nourishment.
Sometimes that looks like very basic things: getting enough sleep, drinking water, moving your body, saying no when you’re stretched too thin. Other times, it looks like connection, play, creativity, or rest.
Two essential elements of self-care are flexibility and internal attunement. What serves you will not always look the same from one day to the next. For someone who tends to be rigid with routines and hard on themselves, self-care might mean letting go of expectations, skipping the workout, enjoying a treat, or giving themselves permission to rest. For someone else who struggles with consistency or tends to avoid healthy routines, self-care might mean choosing movement, setting limits, or making a nourishing choice. True self-care requires listening inward and noticing what you genuinely need for support and restoration, rather than following rules or trends.
Self-care is rarely glamorous. More often, it is the simple, everyday practices that keep you grounded in the long run. Cooking a meal that nourishes you, logging off when your brain is fried, taking a few breaths before reacting, or making that therapy appointment you have been putting off can all be forms of caring for yourself. Many of my clients discover that consistent support through counseling for women helps them create space for these changes.
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How Do You Know if You’re Doing “Enough”?
This is where people get stuck, treating self-care like another box to check or quota to hit. But there’s no universal “enough.”
A better measure is to ask yourself questions like:
Am I waking up feeling restored or depleted as I begin my day?
Do I have energy for what actually matters to me?
Am I tending to my body’s and mind’s most basic needs?
The goal isn’t to check off a perfect self-care routine. It’s to let go of the pressure to “do enough” and instead notice whether your choices are helping you feel supported, even in small ways.
Shift Your Perspective on Self-Care
What if you started treating yourself the way you treat your pet, child, or loved one? With patience. With consistency. With kindness. Not because you’ve “earned it” or checked off a to-do list, but simply because you matter.
When we stop thinking of self-care as a trend and start seeing it as daily tending, it becomes less overwhelming and more grounding. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself in small, steady ways that add up over time.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema | Unsplash
How Therapy for Women Supports Self-Care
If this topic resonated with you and you want to explore self-care on a deeper level, I often share more reflections and practical tips on Instagram and Threads. And if you’re curious about what it might look like to receive support through virtual therapy for women, you can learn more about my services here.
Self-care isn’t about keeping up with what you see online. It’s about keeping yourself well. So instead of asking,“Am I doing enough?” try asking, “What do I need right now?” And then, as best as you can, honor that.
Because the truth is: the most powerful self-care is the kind that actually cares for you. 🌿
by Maria Perdomo-Torres, LCSW-S, MHA, CFSW
