Supporting Someone with Mental Illness
Photo by Nathan Dumlao | Unsplash
Supporting a loved one with mental illness can be both rewarding and incredibly challenging. When someone you care about struggles with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or any other mental health condition, it’s natural to want to help. But often, people aren’t sure where to start, or they may feel overwhelmed by the process. Understanding how to provide support while maintaining your own emotional well-being is crucial for both you and the person you want to help.
1. Educate Yourself About Their Condition
One of the most helpful things you can do is educate yourself about the mental illness your loved one is facing. Whether it’s reading articles, books, listening to podcasts, or speaking with mental health professionals, understanding the symptoms, treatment options, and the challenges your loved one might experience can make you a more effective source of support.
By gaining this knowledge, you'll be better prepared to empathize with their experience, rather than becoming frustrated by behaviors or symptoms that seem confusing or illogical. For instance, knowing that social withdrawal is a common symptom of depression can help you avoid taking their silence personally.
2. Listen Without Judgment
When someone is battling mental illness, they may feel misunderstood, stigmatized, or isolated. One of the most powerful things you can offer is an open ear. Practice active listening—listening with the intent to understand, rather than to respond.
Avoid minimizing their feelings or offering unsolicited advice. Phrases like “Just think positively” or “Everyone feels anxious sometimes” can unintentionally dismiss the seriousness of their struggle. Instead, say something like, “I’m here for you,” or, “That sounds really tough. How can I help?”
3. Encourage Professional Help
While your support is valuable, it's essential to recognize that you cannot take on the role of a therapist. Encourage your loved one to seek professional help, whether it’s seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, or counselor. If they’re resistant, you can offer to help them research local mental health professionals or accompany them to appointments if they feel anxious about going alone. If medication is part of their treatment plan, support them in sticking to their prescribed regimen, while understanding that adjusting to medications can take time.
4. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Own Well-being
It’s important to remember that while you want to be there for your loved one, you also need to protect your own mental health. Supporting someone with mental illness can be emotionally draining, especially if their behavior becomes erratic or demanding.
Set boundaries around what you’re able to offer. For example, it’s okay to say, “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll check in with you tomorrow,” or, “I need some time for myself this weekend, but I’ll be thinking of you.” Boundaries aren’t about abandoning your loved one; they’re about ensuring you have the emotional energy to continue offering support without becoming overwhelmed. Check out my blog post on setting healthy boundaries for more information.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao | Unsplash
5. Offer Practical Help
In addition to emotional support, offering practical help can go a long way. Mental illness can make even everyday tasks feel impossible. You might offer to assist with household chores, run errands, or cook a meal. However, it’s important to ask what they need, rather than assuming. Some people may appreciate help with specific tasks, while others may feel a loss of independence if someone else takes over too much.
6. Encourage Self-Care
For someone with a mental health condition, things like eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising can be difficult to manage. Encourage them to practice self-care by gently suggesting activities that can improve their mental well-being. This could include going for a walk together, practicing mindfulness, or joining them in a hobby they enjoy. You can also remind them of small victories—like getting out of bed or taking a shower—if their symptoms are severe. These achievements, though they may seem minor, are often significant steps in the healing process.
7. Be Patient—Recovery Takes Time
Mental illness recovery is often not linear. Your loved one may have good days and bad days, and progress might seem slow. Patience is key during this process. Avoid pressuring them to "snap out of it" or expecting them to recover quickly. Healing from mental illness takes time, and it's important to be there during both their ups and downs. Remember, it’s not your job to "fix" them. Your role is to provide support, empathy, and encouragement as they navigate their own journey toward healing.
8. Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy to become so focused on helping your loved one that you forget to care for yourself. Supporting someone with mental illness can take a toll on your own mental health, so make sure you’re doing what you need to stay emotionally and physically healthy. This could mean talking to a therapist yourself, joining a support group for caregivers, or simply taking time to do activities you enjoy. The stronger you are, the better equipped you’ll be to support your loved one without burning out.
Final Thoughts
Supporting someone with mental illness is challenging, but your care and compassion make a meaningful difference. By listening without judgment, encouraging professional help, and setting healthy boundaries, you offer valuable support while protecting your own well-being. Remember, you're not alone—help is available for both you and your loved one. If you are feeling stretched thin, reach out to Graceful Mind Therapy--we are here to help.
by Maria Perdomo-Torres, LCSW-S, MHA, CFSW
